


I know everything about you (I don't wanna live without you)

by komhmagnus



Series: Flufftober 2018 [30]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Background Camille Belcourt, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Fluff, Flufftober, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, POV Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 05:31:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16469681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komhmagnus/pseuds/komhmagnus
Summary: for flufftober day 30:  summer





	I know everything about you (I don't wanna live without you)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from I'm Only Me When I'm With You by Taylor Swift  
> (casually posting with like 20 minutes to spare lmao)

Summer was supposed to be the highlight of the year. He was in high school, for god’s sake. No one in high school _dreaded_ summer. Especially not when they were about to graduate and finally leave it all behind. 

Alec didn’t want to leave it all behind, though. At least, not _all_ of it. Not Magnus.

He’d spent the last four years unequivocally in love with his best friend. His best friend, who had decided to follow his girlfriend to New York for college. His best friend, who was moving hundreds of miles away for a relationship everyone but Magnus could see was toxic.

Everyone had tried to tell him, tried to _help_ him, but Magnus was too in love to see reason. 

It broke Alec’s heart.

“You okay?” Magnus’s voice broke through his thoughts. They were both scrawled on Alec’s bedroom floor, papers and study guides surrounding them.

“Yeah, sorry,” Alec said, shaking his head. “Just stressed about this essay,” he lied. Well, not exactly. He _was_ stressed about it, among other things.

The problem was, he needed to tell Magnus how he felt, but _telling_ Magnus might weird him out or alienate him or completely, utterly destroy their friendship. That was _not_ an option. Alec would much rather silently torture himself every day than remove Magnus from his life entirely. So he wouldn’t. He’d keep his mouth shut, his feelings to himself, and let his best friend, the person he was in love with, move to New York City with his girlfriend.

“I’m so ready for the summer,” Magnus sighed, dramatically tossing the flashcards he’d been flipping through onto the floor.

Inside Alec was screaming. “Me too,” he said with a weak smile.

***

His cell phone woke him up from what was supposed to be a nap to get him through the rest of the day. Alec had pulled an all nighter studying for the exam he’d taken in the morning, and now he _finally_ had some downtime to catch some sleep before his next class. The promise of sleeping for two hours had been the only thing to get him through the exam and following lecture.

He almost silenced his phone and went back to sleep, grumbling as he looked at it in the first place. He froze when he saw the name. Magnus.

Alec had tried to get over his feelings for Magnus. He’d even gone on a few dates--none of which had led to a second. After a few months of college, being states away from each other, Alec had hoped maybe the feelings would dull. His brain had accepted his best friend would never see him like that, so why couldn’t his heart?

“Hello?” he answered, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling.

“Alexander?” Magnus said, his voice distorted, like he’d been crying.

Alec sat up. “Are you okay?”

“Camille and I broke up,” Magnus whispered, his voice choking on a sob. “She was cheating on me, I caught them. I saw them--”

Camille was a bitch. Alec had always known that, but even he never thought she’d stoop _that_ low. “Magnus, breathe for me, please.”

He heard Magnus take a shaky breath through the phone, the line crackling slightly. “I just...I don’t know what to do.”

“What did you do? Tell me what happened.”

“I was supposed to pick her up for lunch today, but when I went to her apartment she didn’t answer the door,” Magnus said, voice rough. “I have a spare key, so I went inside and they were--” he cut off with a sniffle. “They were on the couch.”

Alec sat up, resting the back of his head against the wall. “I’m so sorry, Magnus. That must have been awful to find out that way, but I’m glad you did find out. You deserve so much better than that.”

“Do I?” Magnus asked. Alec had never heard his voice so broken and he felt his heart shattering like it did the day Magnus told him he was going to New York with Camille. “I moved hundreds of miles away from my family and friends to go to a school in New York that I only kind of like to follow a girl almost all of my friends tried to warn me about.”

“Don’t do that,” Alec said with conviction. “None of this is your fault, Magnus. You loved her, and you trusted her, and there’s nothing wrong with that. _She_ broke that trust and broke your heart, and that’s on her. Never you. You deserve to be happy, Magnus.”

The phone was silent. Alec waited, but he couldn’t even hear the sounds of Magnus’s breathing. He pulled the phone away from his ear to check the call and saw the timer still going.

“Magnus?” he asked.

Magnus’s voice was quiet when he finally spoke, barely a whisper. “What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you?”

“Exist,” Alec said, smiling a little when he heard Magnus’s surprised laugh. “I mean it. Just being yourself, and encouraging me to do the same. I never would’ve been brave enough to come out if I hadn’t met you.”

“That’s not true, Alec, and you know it.”

“Maybe,” Alec conceded. “But it sure as hell would’ve taken a lot longer. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Magnus. You’ll survive this because you are the strongest person I have ever met, and if you need support, I’m right here. Or on a plane to New York to give you a hug.” Magnus laughed again, and Alec considered it a victory.

***

Freshmen year went by in a caffeinated and sleep deprived blur, and this time around, Alec couldn’t _wait_ for the summer. No homework, no exams, no readings, no term papers. He was _free_.

Plus, he had it on very good authority that Magnus was coming home for the summer.

He didn’t expect him to be sitting on his front porch when he finally made it home from campus, though.

“What are you doing here?” Alec asked as they hugged, arms tight around each other for the first time in ages.

“I haven’t seen you in _months_ , Alexander. Did you really expect me to wait until _tomorrow_?” Magnus laughed into his shoulder. “I missed you.” His voice had gone quieter, more sober.

Alec hugged him a little harder. “I missed you, too.”

“Alec, I--I need to tell you something,” Magnus said as they separated.

Alec scrunched his eyebrows but nodded. He took Magnus’s hand and pulled him inside and up into his bedroom where no one else would hear. “What’s up?” he asked once they were alone and the door was shut.

Magnus swallowed, staring down at a crack in one of the floorboards. Alec couldn’t remember Magnus ever looking unsure of himself like this before, his stomach going uneasy at the realization. “I need you to promise that this won’t change anything between us first. I couldn’t bear that.” He looked back up, his eyes imploring and scared.

Alec nodded. “Hey, you’re my best friend and one of the best people in my life. I’d never let anything change that.”

Magnus closed his eyes, nodding. “Okay, okay. I...I realized I’ve been an idiot. For the last five years now. A complete and utter idiot.”

Alec raised his eyebrows, mouth opening to say something, but Magnus continued.

“I think I’m in love with you.” His eyes met Alec’s and didn’t waver, but he looked like he was desperately afraid to see Alec’s reaction.

Alec had never understood in books or movies when someone said they were left speechless, but _now_ , he thought, _now he did_. His heart hammered against his chest, mouth hanging open in shock, brain full of static and joy and disbelief. He wanted to say so many things-- _I love you too_ and _you’re not an idiot_ and _when?_ \--but his mouth and his brain had forgotten how to communicate.

The nervous fear in Magnus’s eyes brought him back down to earth and Alec surged forwards and did the one thing he’d always wanted but thought he’d never have. Alec Lightwood was kissing Magnus Bane, his best friend, who he loved and _who loved him_.

Magnus stared at him when he pulled away, his eyes wide. “I love you, too, you idiot,” Alec said, surprised at the roughness in his own voice.

Magnus smiled and it lit up his face like the summer sun. He pulled Alec in and they were kissing again. They needed to talk, Alec knew, figure out the logistics. In a few months, they’d both be leaving again. They’d be hundreds of miles away from each other, but that was okay because right now, they had each other and the summer.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! comments and kudos are appreciated <3  
> find me on tumblr and twitter @banesapothecary


End file.
